A Journal Entry by Sirius wHelp from the Llamas
by plungers-rock-my-socks
Summary: Sirius has llamas in his head and random fun ensues. Llamas,plungers,and all things random can be found by cliking the button to read my story! Warning: Those who do not like llamas should not read this story. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry and co. nor do I own skittles or llamas.

A/N: To anyone who actually knows me- parts of this might seem familiar from lunch or P.E. other parts are just the products of a sugar high.

Feb. 1

Today, I told Moony, Prongs, and Wormtail about the llamas that run rampant around my brain. Prongs asked me if they were lemon flavored skittle llamas, but I don't think, so I think they are grape flavored skittle llamas. Moony just rolled his eyes and returned to the book he was reading. Wormtail, well actually I can't remember telling him. Anyway LLAMAS WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!! James stop reading over my shoulder, that is so annoying!!! The llamas will bite off your head!!! Anyway back to the llamas and their plan to take over the world- they are prepared to wait till after Voldemort take over the wizarding world then use brainwashing and bribery with cookies to infiltrate the ranks of the death eaters, bite off Voldemort's head then use their newfound power as the Dark Llamas (cause on llama culture if you kill the leader you get to take over) to take over the Ministry-or at least that is what they told me. Then again they cant always be trusted because they told me to believe a fortune cookie that said the whole wizarding world would believe that I had betrayed my best friend to Voldemort and had to spend many years in Azkaban as a result only to become the first person ever to successfully break out. Oh, I wrote a lot today but I have to go feed the llamas that secretly live in the forbidden forest and could get food for themselves but they prefer firewhisky and hashbrown casserole.

Feb. 2

The llamas thought of a perfect prank! I told James and he said that someone important once said you shouldn't listen to the voices in your head: but since when do we listen to important people? We are going to pull it off tomorrow.

Feb. 3

There is now a herd of wild llamas running around the great hall. The dungeons have been turned into a giant ice skating rink and since none of the Slytherins can skate they are all stuck down there. Pink flamingos are attacking everyone whose last name starts with a D, P, M or S. (Don't ask how we chose letters). The Transfiguration classroom is now a giant volleyball court and all the schools water has been transfigured into rum. (I wanted to turn it into firewhisky but Lily was the one who knew the spell, and she said it had something to do with a muggle movie about a Captain Jack someone or another.)

Feb. 5

SKITTLES ARE THE BEST THING TO COME ALONG SINCE PORTABLE WANDS!!!!!!!!!! Lily was telling me about a commercial, which is something that muggles watch on their T.V. s and she was telling me how are the skittle commercials ended with "Taste the rainbow." So I made skittles rain down from the ceiling in the great hall. Some people just ran but some got the point and started eating, I had 568,797 skittles myself. I even saw one person running through the halls yelling "TASTE THE RAINBOW"

Feb. 10

Prongs rather liked my idea with the skittles so he decided to try the same thing with lemons. More people ran this time but a couple asked what we were supposed to do with lemons. James said, "When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice in your enemies eyes." I told him that it would be better to use the lemons for juggling cause then if you drop them they hit someone's head (if there is anyone stupid enough to stand near you while you are juggling lemons) AND you get to practice juggling. James want to read this, but the llamas told me not to let him because it contains their secret plans for taking over the world. In fact they told me that I had to burn it so no one could get a hold of their plans. So, I guess I won't be writing anymore. Oh well.

A/N: please review with any helpful harmful just plain stupid comments or flames or sugar high-induced reviews. Please the llamas might not kill you when they take over the world if you do.!


	2. chapter 2

September 13

The llamas have finally allowed me to continue writing! Yeah, I know it has been a long time, But know the llamas want me to help them I am to help them find FotL which is short for Followers of the Llamas. I asked everyone if they believed in the power of the llamas. This is what they said:

Prongs: Sirius, you seriously need to get your head examined.

Moony: Go away, I'm trying to read.

Wormtail: (Well actually I cant remember what Peter said.)

Prof. Dumbledore: No, I believe in the power of the socks!!!!!

Prof. Binns: Llama powers are myths and I deal in fact.

Not very successful was I? Well I'll just have to try again!

September 19

Thirty-nine posters of llamas saying, "We will rule the world"

And twenty-six saying, "Join the llama followers-We'll give you cake."

Prof. Trelawny (A/N: I really don't care if she wouldn't have been teaching then.) gave me detention for putting one up in her classroom and "disturbing the aura and clouding her inner eye." That fraud. She's about as likely to make a real prophecy as the fortune cookies- my newest one says "You will survive dementers and aurors only to be killed by a piece of cloth."

September 23

Now I have detention from Mcgonagll for taking the hat we were supposed to be turning into a rat, and transfiguring it into a herd of llamas instead. This is awesome! Not only do I get to spread the word about the llamas but also I get to beat James in the number of detention I can get before Christmas.

September 30

I love raw potatoes with salt and pepper. I also love pickles. I am successful, Prongs is now a FotL. So is Wormtail, but that's only because he likes the power. He really would do anything to bask in someone else's power.

October 17

I haven't written in a long while because the llamas wanted me to invent something for them, but we are done now. Lemon flavored skittle llamas have been perfected. They are little llama shaped pills that have a little "s" for skittle on them and when you eat them they taste like llamas and turn you into a llama for 24 hours.

October 20

Moony has agreed to be a FotL. Mainly because he wants to know what it would feel like to be a llama by using a lemon flavored skittle llama pill. SO, James, Remus, Peter, and my self all turned into llamas and ran around the school to promote the Order of the Llamas, (OotL for short) Most people tried to throw stuff at us but that is the beauty of the lemon flavored skittle llamas, when someone tries to throw something at you, kick/punch you, or curse you, (though it wont work on the Unforgivables) it doesn't work. Whatever it is just reflects back at the caster. 20 people are petrified on the Great Hall because they tried to petrify us.

October 31

I love candy! And sugar! And cake! And anything with sugar! I can write right now I have to go do something. I can't sit still!

November 1

Yesterday when I was sugar high and could not write fro anything I went to the great hall and tried t o get everyone there to reenact a war I read about in some muggle fiction book. But everyone said that they didn't feel like being cut to ribbons by swords. So instead we used plungers! James one the dueling tournament, but then again, he had the biggest plunger. Well after I while that got boring so I charmed the plungers to sing " Don't worry be happy" in a really annoying voice and follow the Slytherins around the castle.

November 4

There is now FotL in every house but Slytherin. But there will be by tomorrow as I found the password to the Slytherin dorms. It is "snake". You'd think they would be a little more original then that. Come on that would be like the Gryffindor password being "lion." Oh well it is not my problem if Slytherins have no imagination to think up a better password.

November 5

Last night James and I snuck into the Slytherin dorm to brainwash them into joining the OotL. When we got there they were plotting the untimely demise of me for trying to get them to join the OotL. Upon hearing this through the mental link I have with them, the llamas gave them up as a lost cause. We didn't want to just give up till the llamas talked us into it saying "Giving up doesn't always mean you are week sometimes it means you are strong enough to recognize a lost cause and let go of it." So we simply obliviated (A/N: that was the memory charm right? Hope so.) them and stole their wand, clothes an anything they owned that was valuable. We also left Severus 3 bottles of shampoo with instructions carefully dictating how to them.

A/N: This chapter is also dedicated to Shell (bookworm2011), Vicky, and Snarly. Also, I don't believe in spell check or grammar check and Shell is not here at the moment to beta!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I still am not J.K.R nor do I own the llama song! (though I have no clue who does or if anyone does I just know that I don't!)

A/N: thanks to shell (bookworm2011) for betaing!

November 21

The llamas are Evil Demons!!!!!! They were singing! And anyone who sings as bad as they llamas has to be an evil demon!!!!!! James was confused when I told him about the singing, because he had never heard any llamas singing, but they did!!!! I swear they did!!!! I was just sitting there staring at the piece of parchment, I was supposed to be writing an essay for Slughorn, when I heard it! It came from two rooms over, and it was louder than I ever heard before!!!! LLAMAS SHOULD NOT SING!!!!!!

November 25

Today, I discovered that the llamas are not really evil demons at all and it was Peter who I heard singing! He was practicing for the school talent show tomorrow! James and I spent 20 minutes trying to talk him out of that nonsense. We did not succeed (Now we have to listen to him singing while waiting to go up).

November 27

Yesterday was the talent show/competition. Peter sang, and I think I saw two people pass out from " poisonous sounds entering their ears", or that might have been 'cause Peeves had just thrown 20 dung bombs down. Naw, had to be Peter. Anyway, James and I sang the llama song, after taking lemon flavored skittle llamas (now on know as LFSL) without eating the nose of the LSFL, so that we could still talk without sounding like llamas to everyone who was not a FotL. (shun the non-believers, shun!) In case you're wondering, part of the llama song sounds like this

Did you ever see a llama?

Kiss a llama?

On the llama.

Llama's llamas

Taste of llamas!

Llama llama

Duck!

Anyway, that was only part of the song! Tomorrow we will find out who won. Prongs and I also did individual "talents" But they weren't nearly as good.

November 28

We didn't win! Apparently, the judges were "tired of the llama campaign and would die if they heard the word llama again!" That is a very biased way of judging. I mean what would they have done if everyone had sang about llamas? Fainted probably! Anyway it was successful, none the less, because it caused 7 different people to become FotL. That brings are total numbers up to 27!!! MUHWAAWAWHHAHAHA! Okay weird moment of evil laughter over.

November 30

Remus thought of an excellent way to recruit FotL. He didn't want to tell us at first because he doesn't really approve of pranks and breaking _too _many rules. But, we got it out of him eventually! Plungers!!!! Multicolored plungers to be exact. Of course, I didn't know what a plunger was, so he told me it was "A device consisting of a rubber suction cup attached to the end of a stick, used to unclog drains and pipes." Which means muggles use them to unclog toilets. How does he know these things? Did he memorize the dictionary or something? I bet I'll never see anyone else who can quote books or teachers so easily. Except that my brummagem (I used a big word! That means showy but worthless) fortune cookies say that I will. Oh well, back to the recruitment plan: anyone who opposes the FotL will have a plunger stuck to their head, except the plunger will sing the llama song repeatedly into their head so that when they yell at it to shut up, everyone will have no clue who they are yelling at, and they will be considered clinically insane! Oh, and they can't be removed except by Prongs and I. Moony says we should let him be able to remove them, as well, but he will be to easy and will remove them faster.

Oh, and I cannot take credit for the big word used in this entry, I asked Moony for another word for false.

December 5

The plungers have struck! I saw Severus with a plunger on his head absentmindedly singing,

"Here's a llama

There's a llama

And another little llamaFuzzy llama, funny llama

Llama llama

Duck"

Apparently he hadn't even realized he had been singing. Now that it is December I have to start thinking about what to get everyone for Christmas. I wonder what you get llamas for Christmas? Do llamas even celebrate Christmas? I could just get everyone socks – make Dumbledore happy at least. I mean, you would think he would campaign to have socks as the next minister, the way he goes on about them!

A/N: Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Nope, I am still not J.K.R. But I don't own Google either, nor am I going to crash it. At the moment all I own is my Algebra textbook telling me to do my homework, but I don't really own that either do I? I used to own some skittles but I ate them.

A/N: the first entry is a variation of something I wrote in a note to a friend once. Shell you should recognize parts of it.

December 7

The llamas have come out and reveled themselves to everyone!

This is how it happened- the llamas danced around in squares (why not circles you ask, well circles are scary). They were singing about the power of skittles. Meanwhile the skittles were floating above the llamas in rainbow shaped patterns yelling, "Taste the Rainbow". All the people on the ground, who had silently observed the llamas, started screaming. Half were screaming, "No, no make it all stop. If Sirius or James did this I will kill them!" the other half of the people joined in yelling, "Taste the Rainbow." Those who joined in with the skittles were rewarded, by not being killed by the ripping apart of the tectonic plates like rice paper. Then, we had a meeting of the FotLaS (the skittles wanted in on it, so now it is Followers of the Llamas and Skittles.) The llamas were plotting the downfall of Google.

December 12

I have been busy helping the llamas count how many people were left in the country (because the plates did not rip apart anywhere else) and set up a government. I still don't know what to get the llamas for Christmas.

December 15

I have decided that for Christmas, llamas will all get plungers! Red ones, black ones, and any other color I feel like. I wonder where Waldo is. James found this spell, where you can stay underwater for an hour, and we are going to go try it in the lake tomorrow. Of course he was only looking for a spell like that because I got him hooked on fortune cookies and his said, "One day your son will have to stay under water for an hour and won't be able to find the right spell." He said that he didn't believe in fortune cookies, either, but if I ever ended up in Azkaban he would make sure that he told his son just incase.

December 16

The bottom of the lake is just FILLED with stuff. I found a toothbrush and James found four scarves. We decided to see who could get the most stuff. These were the results.

Myself: four waterlogged copies of _Hogwarts a History. _Green boxers, dentures, two wands, 27 keys, 2 rolling pins, 7 mushrooms that have green hairs on them, something that Lily said is called an ipod, a broom, and a Frisbee.

James: an eyeball, school meatloaf still in the same condition as when they serve it (I told him there was a reason not to eat school meatloaf), 28 watertight bottles of whisky that were attached to a string that led up to somewhere near Hagrid's hut (hahaha we found his stash), and the Golden Snitch (trust him to be the one to find that)

45 - my score

31+10(for Hagrid's stash) –James' score

I won!! By 10 points. Though he claims he should be awarded 150 points for the capture of the Snitch. I think we should get special awards for service to the school. Because we unpolluted the bottom of the lake.

December 20

Oh yeah! School is out for the holidays. I am staying and so is James, but Remus isn't staying because he needs to get away from our hallucinatory (I don't know if this fits here but it is a new word I learned) raving or they will put him in an asylum. But I told him they wouldn't do that; if they haven't done it to us yet then they wouldn't do it to him. He told me the only reason you two (Prongs and I) aren't in one is because we'd scare the other "residents". Peter also won't be here, well, I don't actually know why; something about not having enough cookies here.

A/N: If you review I will… umm… no wait I know! The llamas will spare you from the impending doom! Even if you flame! I don't really mind!

B/N: This is a beta's note!! It makes me feel special. Not like a poo on the carpet of life, which is the way my sister frequently looks at me.  Sorry it took so long for the chappie. No popcorn. HAH!!!!(Don't ask). Mare (the author) had it ready AGES ago. I just didn't beta it. You could review my beta-ing skills. I tried on purpose not to fix all the grammatical errors. It makes Mare's fics, Mare's. You could also review my stories. My penname is bookworm2011.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I still don't own them!!! Did you think I somehow got ownership since the last time I posted a chapter? Well the conversation Sirius writes about is loosely (though not so loosely that it isn't evidence to put me in an asylum) based on one I actually had so I guess that means I own that at least. Except Vicky would own that to.  Oh well. Nor thankfully do I own any of the little kid shows mentioned in this chapter.

A/N: Just remember- when the llamas take over the world –you heard it here first (unless of course you heard it from somewhere else first!)

A/N2: I don't like Barney or any other show like that, in my opinion they are brainwashing.

December 21

Some llamas REALLY ARE evil. And the evil llamas really do sing. To help you (who AM I talking to anyway) understand why, here is my conversation with James earlier today.

Prongs: Some one told me the llamas are really evil demons!!!!

Me: No, James, they are not, except for the ones that sing.

Prongs: So, the singing llamas are evil? Why?

Me: Because they sing REALLY badly!!!

Prongs: Like what?

Me: Like lots of really bad things at once.

Prongs: You mean like Barney singing?

Me: NO! Like Barney, Teletubies, Dora's Map and Backpack all singing at once!

Prongs: AHHHHHHHH!!! That would be pure torture.

Me: I know.

Random person sitting near us: What the heck are you talking about?

Us: Llamas and their evil singing.

(Random person turns around slightly scared)(or perhaps more then slightly scared)

Well, that is how we know that some llamas are evil. Now, we just have to make sure everyone else knows what to do if they are faced with an evil llama.

December 23

We have discovered how to warn everyone about the llamas! Apparently when there is severe weather, muggles have "Emergency Broadcasting Systems" that tell people what to do. They make a really loud, annoying sound and tell people to take shelter, so tonight at dinner we are going to set off the "alarm." Though we aren't going to have a loud noise before it 'cause James and I couldn't agree on what the noise should be. Here is what the message will say:

In the case of your being exposed to such auditory torture I advise you to react quickly and take shelter in a sturdy structure like a basement. Do not think you are immune to the auditory torture. Do not disregard this warning. Please be reminded that not all of the llamas are evil- only the ones that sings.

December 24

The llamas DON'T celebrate Christmas. Now what am I supposed to do with the 50 plungers I got? They are all just sitting on Remus's and Peter's beds (cause they aren't here.) This will take a lot of thought

5 seconds later

Thinking is too hard, I'll just ask Remus! He is smart, and doesn't mind actually thinking! Or I could just ask James, since he is here!?

James says, I should set the plungers up above certain doorways and bewitch them so that they shoot pizza sauce, then cheese, then pepperoni, then if the person is stupid enough to still be standing there, really hot air so that they become a walking pizza. Now what rooms shall I do?

A/N: yeah I know this is a short chapter but I don't care.

B/N: (Beta's note) Idont have any beta reviews and I work so hard. Randomness dosent come naturally in my writing as is does to Mare. I wish I(underlined three times) would get a review. Check out my stories please! My pen name is bookworm2011, and my stories are titled "Friendship" and "Temper." Please R&R! Ooh! Also check out Mare's and me joint account – Shellmare. It has one story posted whose name escapes me.

A/N: the title to are joint story is called "We need inspiration" don't ask ME why it is called that I didn't name it. It is more random then Shell's but less random then mine so

c-ya later.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: well heres chapter 6. hey I don't have much to say in a note for once. I found something else I own - I ran out of ideas for fortune cookies and since I was thinking about this while at a Chinese restraunt, I used the one I got. Therfore i own the fourtune cookie. :)

December 25

Life lessons learned by me (Sirius Black) on Christmas of this year:

1.When given a scarf for Christmas, the person who gave you this is not always sending out a plea for you to kill them through strangling them.

2.Never gurgle milk unless to feel like someone is blowing milk bubbles in your mouth 'til you end up spitting it all out on the person next to you.

3.Changing the words of 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs" to say God Rest Ye Merry Llamas is a wonderful idea.

4.Trying to eat people just because they are a walking pizza does fall into the category of "Cannibalism"

5."Because they are easy to kill" is not a good reason to be found almost strangling a house elf, nor according to Prof. McGonagall is it a good reason to kill anything.

6.Jellybeans are hard to juggle.

7.The fortune cookies are decreasing in their ability to even try to sound intelligent This one is from my fourtune cookie "Be cautious when walking in dark places alone." No **_DUH_**.

8.According to Lilly, computers can only underline a word once NOT 3 times, and when some one is editing a paper that will later be typed it is rather annoying to have 3-4 underlines and only be able to use one.

Remus should _not_ go away for Christmas! There is no one to help with my essay!

Well, that's all I learned.

December 26

James said I could be the village idiot!! Moony says I always was,(we owled him) now it is just official. So there!!! I am now the OFFICIAL village idiot and I will be a better village idiot then you.

December 27

I love snow!!!! It never snows at my house. Just another reason to avoid the place. Oh, back to the snow!!! I wonder if pouring numerous loads of snow on someone's head constitutes as their taking a shower. If so, the Snape has just had his first shower!!! And I (Well, and Prongs too...) should get an award for giving it to him!! Anyway James and I have detention on the first day back for the whole "Cannibals" thing. Oh well, I guess we are both off to a good start. We tied last time, but I guess that is what you can expect if every time you get a detention, it is usually with the person you are competing against. Oh well. Remus came back today!!! Now I have a thesaurus. Remus is my specialest human thesaris (B/N: Yes, thesaurus is spelled wrong. But, it is not "thesaurus", its "thesaris", pronounced just like its sound. The author and her beta's friends made it up during lunch. It's someone who constantly uses big words and consistently tells other people to use them in writing, talking, etc. I'm (the beta's typing this, just so you know) am Mare's (the author's) thesaris.

December 31

Tomorrow is New Year's Day and I have no clue what I am going to do!! It is the sixth New Year's I will have at Hogwarts. I have to think of something I have not done yet. List of possible ideas for New Year's Day.

1.Remove all furniture from school. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but sounded interesting. the Great Hall floor in syrup. (Slippery enough so you fall; sticky enough that it won't easily come off.)

3.Eat cake. (I am hungry!!! Don't automatically think it is a bad idea, cake always helps!!!)

4.Start a choir. Record singing. Play loudly in great hall. Since no one here can sing, it will be the second worse auditory torture EVER!!!

5.Nothing. (Hey, it's something I've never done before.)

I think I will ask people to vote on which one I should do!!

**2 hours later**

Prongs: combine 1-4.!!!!

Moony: 3 –If the cake is chocolate I have to give him some. Otherwise, he thinks I should do #2.

Random house elf that I tried to strangle on Christmas: (In that squeaky house elf voice) "Number 5, sir. Please, please just do number five."

Random house elf that I did not try to strangle: "We live to serve young sir, so if you should choose to eat cake, we would gladly be making it for you."

I think that I will go with Prongs cause he said he'd help me, and that way I still get cake.

B/N: Was number 8 on the Life Lessons in reference to me? Because, I totally can underline it two times!! So there! Wait, I just checked. Psych!!! You can't. : (

A/N: Yes shell number 8 was meant for you anyway to all the WONDERFUL people who read my story AND REVIEWED yall be awsom!!! (okay so 16 reviews isnt alot but it is more then Shell) you should go read/ review her stories by the way. um and i was in a list mood when io typed this so that is why there is lists!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hey shell guess what! I cans now double underline! And guess what my spell check works again! Not that most of you actually knew it was broken since I haven't posted a new chapter in a while! Oh and if you see any unnecessary underline affects (other than just the regular underline), it is because I thought this was a better place to try them then some school essay.

January 1

Not only is it New Year's Eve, but it is also the first day back at classes. And it is raining. Oh, and I learned who is reading this! My fortune cookie said that sometime in the future when I was dead and gone, some fangirl is going to be typing this for the entire world to see. That, of course, is absolute rubbish. Worse then the one about being cautious in the dark, at least that one was plausible. I mean how would a fangirl get this in the first place, and how would they proceed to tell the whole world? ANYWAY back to New Year's. I have removed all furniture from the entire school, which is actually sorta hard. Because I couldn't figure out where to put it, until I shrunk each piece till they were about the size of a pea, and put it in the school food.

January 2

Today I walked around with key chains on my ear! Then James did as well, which shows that I have started a fad! Go me! Anyway, most people did not know what my key chains were. One was a miniature skate guard, which is something muggles put over their ice skates so they do not scrape up the floor, and so the floor does not dull the blade. The other one was the "Key To Success." It was yellow, plastic and it TASTED GOOD! I always thought the key to success would taste bad, like tests or studying (yes, these do have a taste), but it tastes good. Remus told me I still had to study to succeed…but I don't believe him. Why would they call it the Key To Success if it did not make you succeed? Personally, I think it opens a room that would make you succeed, because that is what keys do. Right? They unlock things. So, now I have to find the door, but that will take too much physical energy.

January 12

I love alliterations! They are awesome! Flailing first years fall feet first from four floors up! That is my alliteration, I think I will make it actually happen. But this one is better: llamas like lots of licorice, lamps, love, and Listerine! I wonder if I was to have a computer, and I was to put a sparkle affect on a word, would said word sparkle even if I posted that word?

January 14

First years taking flying lessons- always fun. Well, fun to watch and laugh at them 'til either I can not breathe or they start shooting badly aimed curses at me. Whichever comes first. This year it was the curses; last year it was the breathing (or lack there of). I got out of classes for two days because Madame Pomfrey (A/N: was that her name? I think it was. But you should know who I mean) could not figure out if there was something wrong with my lungs that made me suddenly cease breathing. I like the word cease. That's another thing about watching the first years; it is educational, so the professors can't get mad at me. Even if the only thing I learned was the word cease, and that even though first years have large vocabularies, they can not fly and should never be picked for the house teams, even if my latest fortune cookie said "You will one day know someone who made the Gryffindor house team, as a first year" That is complete nonsense. A GRYIFFINGOR first year being on the house team. If it was a SLYTHERIN, I would understand it, anyone can get on their team, if they have the money for the bribes. But the fortune cookie said GRYIFFINDOR, not SLYTHERIN.

January 15

I beat James at chess! I rock! Not that I don't always beat him, he is no good at it, nor is his father or grandfather, his son will probably have a best friend who always wins in chess. Is being bad at chess something that we can inherit from our parents, because if it is, and if James has a son, I would advise that son not to join a chess tournament! Go me, not only do I rock for beating James, but also because I can make this symbol . Isn't it awesome?

January 20

I don't like January; nothing happens, Honestly, the only thing that has happened, is Filch fell down the staircase, Peeves caused the Hufflepuff table to explode, and Unicorns ran rampant through the hallways. That is an uneventful month. Especially by Hogwarts standards. Even more so by my standards. I think it is scaring the teachers even more then it would scare them if something were happening. They probably think I am plotting planning my next big trick. Well they are WRONG! It is just this cursed month of January. I will ignore the world 'til January is over. It is not so long now. See you in February!

A/N: You know Sirius asked about the sparkly letters appearing when you typed, well could anyone please answer that question for me? I did it on the word Listerine (right before the question).

B/N: The Listerine thing is in the January 12 entry. Silly Mare, you didn't mention that. Me, typing, at the moment is a crapshoot. I never realized how much I typed with the middle finger of my left hand until I couldn't use it. I can't use it because I went to the doctor and they pricked my finger to check for mono. I'm negative (I know you all care)!! It doesn't hurt, but the nurse put a Band-Aid on it that makes it stiff and hard to bend. I'd take the Band-Aid off, but its pretty and sparkly. I'm rambling. Ciao, Shell


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff people, if I did don't you think I would sell it so I could make enough money to go to every Havoc hockey game home and away. For that matter I don't own hockey either(no duh!) I do have a Havoc hat and shirt though! Nor do I own Chick-fil-a.

A/N: As stated above, I like hockey! Oh and I know it is annoyingly cliché to give a character the same birthday as yourself, but you can all just build a bridge and get over it! Oh and Julia, if you read this I am sorry that I sorta made you Peter, I just didn't think Remus would act like that and James and Sirius were already busy.

February 1

FINNALY! January is OVER! I can now make verbal and written contact to the rest of the world instead of sitting in the back of every class, almost dying from the pressure that is created by all the unreleased sarcastic comments! And I can write in here again. I was running out of things to do; I had already ran around Hogwarts 3 times, swam the length of the lake four times, and almost drowned taking a shower. All in all, an entirely boring time stretch. Hopefully this month will be better!

February 3

Awesome! We are going on a field trip for muggle studies! We are going to a hockey game! Hockey is awesome. I went to a game once, because James wanted me to, since he heard Lily was going to figure skate during intermission. Why he couldn't just go to one of her shows? James spent the whole time looking for Lily then cheering. I, on the other hand, actually watched the game. Peter was obsessed with the "flying cows." These were cows with little parachutes that Chick-Fil-A threw down into the crowd. Anyway, now that we are going again, I swear that if they drop ANY cows and I have to listen to the word cow being inserted into every sentence, I will get the llamas to bite off the heads of the people throwing the cows. The llamas already want to kill these cows, as they see it as a sorta cow-worshiping-ritual. Oh, yeah, I forgot to say that the game was on my birthday! That is awesome!

February 6

List of things I got for my birthday from parents: a how-to book entitled "How-to bring honor to your family name and not, embarrass, distress, and otherwise disappoint your family while in a public place". From Remus: Another how-to book, but this one was actually interesting "How you and your chosen species of mammals can take over the world: with details of how others failed so you can avoid repeat performances". From James: A toy llama that rides around your head on a broomstick. From Peter: food.

5 minutes later

I am NOT patient; I want to go to the hockey game NOW. Oh, hey were going. Bye.

February 7

The game was last night! I caught a shirt, cause I am just cool like that. James comment when I told him that this was: "the only shirt I was going to wear EVER" was "Well then! Please excuse me when I don't come within ten feet of you because of the smell." James didn't like the game cause Lilly wasn't skating, and I told him that the point of a HOCKEY game was to watch the hockey players, not the girls. Thankfully, no cows were thrown. Unfortunately, this means I got to hear Peter's sighs, of disappointment throughout the whole game. Oh yeah, the team I was going for won again, they won last time I went too.

February 9

Classes were today; of course divination is a joke. I think my latest fortune cookie (watch out for veils, some are more then they seem) is more likely to come true then the prediction that James got from my tea leaves with the help of the book. I do not believe that those tea leaves could be true, I mean for crying out loud they said, "Your brain is made of wax, and will therefore melt in the next Quidditch match when you fly too close to the sun." If this was going to happen, why didn't it happen the time James and I tried to see just how high we could go, with out our brooms failing or burning to a crisp? Well, next game is tomorrow, so I suppose I will find out then.

February 10

Well, the match is over, and I don't believe that my brain melted. Nor was any damage inflicted upon my head. I can't say the same for that Slytherin chaser though- didn't duck when I sent a particularly hard bludger his way. Bet the loss of intelligence will make it impossible for him to play Quidditch again. Then again, most of the Slytherins surprise me that they have enough intelligence to play anyway. Hope he can't play-he was pretty good.

B/N: Weeee-oooohhhhhh-Weeeeeee-oooooohhhhhhh-Weeeeeeeee-oooooooohhhhhhhhh Weeee-oooohhhhhh-Weeeeeee-oooooohhhhhhh-Weeeeeeeee-oooooooohhhhhhhhh Weeee-oooohhhhhh-Weeeeeee-oooooohhhhhhh-Weeeeeeeee-oooooooohhhhhhhhh Weeee-oooohhhhhh-Weeeeeee-oooooohhhhhhh-Weeeeeeeee-oooooooohhhhhhhhh Weeee-oooohhhhhh-Weeeeeee-oooooohhhhhhh-Weeeeeeeee-oooooooohhhhhhhhh

I am a fire truck!!!!!!!

A/N: um… no comment. Yeah anyway. Hi people! I have ran out of things to say in my authors notes. Oh well I could say something, or not.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Hey people! guess what I now own the Potter books. Not! I wish I could. Oh well. I also do not own The Phantom of the Opera book or movie (though I do have a copy of them!)

A/N: I love reviewer-people. Go them! I had typed a chapter, then I got bored, so I actually reread the first couple of chapters and realized I had already said what I typed in the new chapter, though I did like my new version better but I didn't change it cause it just bugs me when people change their fics to later on. Oh and in this fic, we are pretending that Valentine's day is nonexistent because NO ONE wants to see how that would turn out if I wrote it. Also because I am the author and I think the holiday is a stupid excuse for candy stores to make money.

February 8

I want to go fishing! Why do I want to go fishing you ask? Well actually you probably didn't ask, but you get to know anyway! I want to test my theory, though it might be best to start from the beginning. Okay, I was once again eating fortune cookies, and this one said that one of my friends would end up getting a small part of their body cut off. James thought Peter would probably end up cutting off his finger or something, but I think that it will be my revenge. Peter has continued whining about the lack of cows at the last hockey game (who would go to a hockey game just for the cows anyway?), and his tail looks a lot like a worm. So I thought that I would test the theory that fish would eat rattails because they look like worms. Remus of course had to make reality come out of the closet I had so skillfully stuffed it into a week ago, and told me I would be expelled. So now I just want to go fishing for the heck of it!

February 10

I'm going fishing fishin' fishing. I'm going fishing, yes I am. Do you like my song? Perhaps I should form a band. Anyway, who cares about bands when you are going fishing. I wonder if llamas eat fish? Everyone (everyone being Moony, Prongs, and Wormtail) agreed to come. And we are going to have a contest, to see who can catch the most fish. Everyone who loses has to pay the winner 20 galleons, so everyone wants to win. At the current moment, Remus is reading a book with a weird title, because small words like 'on' and 'the' are capitalized. The book is titled "A Wizard's Guide On Beating Your Friends At The 'Catch The Most Fish' Game." How is a book going to help catch fish? James is assuming various yoga positions in order to prepare himself, and Peter is running around the common room worrying about how he thinks he will lose. Oh, we are leaving now!

February 13

The game ended with Remus wining. That stupid book did help. I did not notice that the book was titled wizards  guide. All Remus had to do was say "Accio Fish" and he had like 50 fish. Well actually Remus only sorta won. There is two reasons he only sorta won, they are as follows:

1.I caught two of fish, while James only caught one. Peter caught four fish. Apparently James and I cannot shut up long enough to catch a fish. Of course we did have fun throwing the lines into the water and reeling them back in. We couldn't decide if Remus won for having the most fish or if Peter won for actually catching the most fish so no one gets the money! At least I don't have to pay anyone!

2. The other reason we decided Remus did not win is because llamas DO like fish, and since Remus had caught so many fish, the herd of llamas that normally hangs out with the unicorns and centaurs, ran after him and devoured every fish he had caught.

February 14

I wish we had chandeliers around here that we could make fall down. I also wish I could sing. In Muggle studies we watched The Phantom of the Opera, which is a muggle book and movie. Anyway, one person tries to strangle people, but if you keep your hand at the level of your eyes he cant strangle you, so James and I ran around jinxing everyone's arms to stay at the level of their eyes. Well everyone but the Slytherins. Then we made a "Phantom" that goes around the castle strangling people with its lasso. Of course everyone except the Slytherins is safe because they have their hands at the level of their eyes, but so far seven Slytherins have been sent to the hospital wing after passing out from lack of oxygen.

A/N:I was going to do a separate fic with the whole fishing thing that is in this chapter but I didn't. (Well actually I didn't, send it to shell to beta therefore it wont be posted) If anyone actually wants me to post it, I will. I am only going to do one more chapter unless someone wants more chapters, because then I will continue until I run out of things to put in though I am not sure if that is possible. Any way

Please Review?!?!?

Come on I need a review, I love peoples reviews, especially after having just typed that stupid (insert many words which would make this authors note cause this fic to be a higher rating because of "language" even though none was in the fic itself) 5 page long research paper.

If the grammar is worse in this chapter blame Shell, cause I sent her this chapter when I posted the last one and she still hasn't betaed it. So my impatience (and lack of anything better to do) has driven me to beta this chapter myself.

And if you review answer these questions:

Should I do a fic (well post the already done fic) with the fishing?

Should I do another chapter after the next one?

Do you like chocolate chip muffins or blueberry better? Or do you like a different type of muffin? Or none at all? This is an IMPORTANT question, if the only thing you do in your review is answer then so be it, but at least answer this question!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: hi again! More llamas are in this chapter! And less authors notes, cause I decided I put to many. This chapter is dedicated to Pluto, cause it is still my favorite planet even if it cant really be like that. It really wasn't important to tell me what kind of muffin you liked cause I was just going to use my favorite anyway.

February 15

There is a war… on Pluto! Its over who will dominate Pluto, which makes sense, since the war is on Pluto. Anyway, since no one can read my mind, I suppose I should explain why there is a war. Okay, after the llamas took over all of Europe, they decided that they wanted to take over something that is not on a planet. So, of course, when the llamas discovered that Pluto had been booted out of planetary status, they jumped at the chance. Unfortunately, so did the ferrets, and the turtles. So, now there is a vicious battle being fought on Pluto. Mainly, it is the llamas and the ferrets: turtles are too slow to really do anything. I have to go help send air and food provisions up to Pluto, but I will keep this journal posted as to the going-ons of the war.

February 16

The llamas are wining. Of course, was there ever any doubt? Think about it… there is 6 things in the llamas' favor:

6. They are bigger.

5. Llamas can step on ferrets.

4. Ferrets have no loyal following!

3. We on Earth continue to send supplies for the war.

2. When not sending supplies, James and I run around England (and sometimes Australia if we feel like it), Passing out flyers that read:

Support The Llamas In the Great Three Way War!

To random muggles and cursing them so that they have to pass these flyers out to other random people, therefore spreading the word and gaining more followers! Of course, this also gets many muggles attempting to place us in insane asylums, but every great plan has its set backs.

And the number one reason that it was obvious all along who would win:

1. Llamas are THE SUPREME SPECIES, AND WILL RULE US ALL!!!!

February 18

Today we were sent a video of one battle from the Three Way War! And the Llamas were, as always, the victors of the battle. Remus is now actively supporting the war by sending the Llamas large amounts of there favorite food, which is of course: fish. As for the way things are going here on Earth, all classes have been converted into ways to help the llamas. In Care of Magical Creatures, we all go out and fish; in Astronomy, we use the tower as a communications tower, since it is the tallest and therefore has the best reception for the voices of the llamas. In Charms, we charm hats so they will allow the wearer to go a total of forty-eight hours without needing air, minimizing the risk of the Llamas running out of air. Potions has been canceled indefinitely, as no one could see any further use for it , and History of Magic is now Strategy, and you can only take this "class" if you are a high ranking official in the OotL.

February 24

Victory!!! After ten hard days of fighting, the Llamas have driven off all resistance from the Ferrets, and the Turtles never really did anything anyway. As for celebrations, the whole continent of Europe has been turned into a giant swimming pool (because llamas like to swim)! Many llama shaped balloons have been floating around to alert everyone to the fact that the llamas won the war. The llamas sang karaoke at their victory party, and by a vote, they are by far better then any of the human singers, (though for some unfathomable reason, there was that one human who kept doing his hair weird who managed to remain in the contest for an unreasonably long time, even though his singing skill were not what one might call "top notch"). Wow! I have filled up this entire journal, but… I don't think that I will continue on with another one, way too much writing if you ask me! Anyway, for the final time I say good-bye, and may the strength of the Llamas be with you.

A/N: Was there enough of the llamas in it this time? Hope so, I also will say good bye, and so will the llamas (who we must all remember are the true writer of the story).

B/N: I did not beta the chapter before this one. Place all blame on the author! Please and Thank-You!!


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